[By the time Bucky calls her, she's mostly calmed down, thanks in large part to Clint. She's hallucinating, she tells herself. The nanomachines in her system are screwing up her sensory input, and that's it. It's easier to ground herself with other people around—she can hold Clint's hand or touch Tony's shoulder, and they're solid, they're there, even if they're distorted when she looks at them. It keeps that strange sense of unreality at bay, although this entire thing, conversation with Winter and all, has made a sick sense of dread settle in Natasha's stomach, and she can't shake it.
His message comes through garbled, of course, because that's just what they need right now. Luckily, hers is short and mostly clear, if a little fuzzy.]
It's like this whole world is dissolving into static and only he'll be left. Maybe her being fuzzy means he's fighting the mind control? Or, worse, succumbing to it properly. He's terrified of ending up the Soldier again. His voice is tight, not as controlled as usual.]
[Natasha is quiet for a long moment, not sure how to respond. During the worst of her brainwashing, everything had seemed unreal. She couldn't tell what was true or not, and she isn't there again, not quite.
She knows how much this scares Bucky, though, because it scares the hell out of her, and just the thought of being controlled makes her furious to boot. She's not one to soften things or lie just to comfort someone, though, so she's honest, her voice quiet and a little hesitant. The audio cuts in and out, just a bit, but it's still understandable.]
No. Not yet. I think they could, if they wanted to. If we get out of hand or they decide it's to their benefit in some other way.
[Not that they could if they wanted to, Bucky doesn't doubt that and it scares him more than pretty much anything else could. But how can she tell that she's not already under mind control? He knows what it's like, he knows the confusion and, often, the complete inability to be aware that any other reality even exists.]
What Winter is talking about... it isn't brainwashing or conditioning. It isn't what was used on us. If I'm understanding right, we'd still be conscious and aware, but... not in control of our bodies.
[It's a sad thing that he wants it to be, at least then he'd know if he were in control or not.]
I told you the Soldier had been[static]fter meeting the Prophet, I kept hearing voices telling me to give in andstatic]might be able to control us both ways.
[Any of her conditioning or memory blocks being reinstated isn't something she wants to think about, but it's something she has to consider. There's a lot of static in Bucky's message, but she can make it out, at least. Meanwhile, her response cuts in and out again, but it's clear enough to hear that her tone is tense, uncomfortable.]
It's a possibility. If these nanomachines are— and they can control our motor functions and senses, there's no— could affect us psychologically. —latent conditioning could resurface.
[It's just as he fears and suspects. He's not even sure why he called her just to confirm it, but perhaps it's because she's the one person here who might understand the terror of losing himself to programming once more. Not even Steve would understand that.]
I won't be the So[static]kill me if you[static]sorry.
[She understands what he's asking, and she understands exactly why he's asking it. It's something that Clint and Tony certainly couldn't do, would flat out refuse to do, but could she do it? If he was cutting a swath through the town?
She doesn't want to think about it.]
Bucky...
[Natasha doesn't cut in and out this time, at least, so he gets to hear the shaky little breath she takes.]
[It's something he would never even ask Steve to do, because he knows Steve wouldn't have it in him to take him out if it became necessary. He doesn't want to die, he's not suicidal. He's going to fight this programming as long as he possibly can.
But if he ends up the Soldier again. If it's the choice between taking him out and letting him kill more people, he knows what the right choice is.]
Thank you.
[It's softer, warmer, than his voice has been before here.]
And I'm sor[static]efore. I was wrong, I know you and Tony only wanted to help and I[static].
[He appreciates her willingness to forgive him and accept some of the blame, even if she is just a hallucination caused by the programming. Though the question is perhaps the stupidest one he's ever heard.
How is he doing?
When they're all probably in the midst of being programmed, mind controlled, and altered. When Steve died such a short time ago right in front of his eyes. When he can't even most his left arm any longer and the pain from the skin sloughing off is constant. He actually snorts, pushed too far beyond fear for any genuine response, and replies in a dry tone.]
Never better, this place is like an endless vacation. You?
[Natasha lets out a little huff of a laugh. Information has always been her greatest weapon, considering she's not a crazy super soldier, a god, or a web-slinging nerd, and now she's utterly without it. It's funny in a terrible way.]
I don't know much about the Prophet. From what I've gathered, her name was Sam, and [More static. Great!] She must have seen something she wasn't supposed to.
[Strange. Admittedly, she doesn't know enough about how his programming works specifically, but she can't imagine it would be triggered by something so simple. It must have been something else, or something in conjunction with his conversation with the prophet.]
I don't know. [static] affect the nanomachines. We don't have enough information.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@itsybitsy; audio; private
His message comes through garbled, of course, because that's just what they need right now. Luckily, hers is short and mostly clear, if a little fuzzy.]
What? You cut out in the middle of your sentence.
no subject
It's like this whole world is dissolving into static and only he'll be left. Maybe her being fuzzy means he's fighting the mind control? Or, worse, succumbing to it properly. He's terrified of ending up the Soldier again. His voice is tight, not as controlled as usual.]
Do you really think we're being controlled?
no subject
She knows how much this scares Bucky, though, because it scares the hell out of her, and just the thought of being controlled makes her furious to boot. She's not one to soften things or lie just to comfort someone, though, so she's honest, her voice quiet and a little hesitant. The audio cuts in and out, just a bit, but it's still understandable.]
No. Not yet. I think they could, if they wanted to. If we get out of hand or they decide it's to their benefit in some other way.
no subject
[Not that they could if they wanted to, Bucky doesn't doubt that and it scares him more than pretty much anything else could. But how can she tell that she's not already under mind control? He knows what it's like, he knows the confusion and, often, the complete inability to be aware that any other reality even exists.]
no subject
What Winter is talking about... it isn't brainwashing or conditioning. It isn't what was used on us. If I'm understanding right, we'd still be conscious and aware, but... not in control of our bodies.
[Which is horrifying.]
no subject
[It's a sad thing that he wants it to be, at least then he'd know if he were in control or not.]
I told you the Soldier had been[static]fter meeting the Prophet, I kept hearing voices telling me to give in andstatic]might be able to control us both ways.
no subject
It's a possibility. If these nanomachines are— and they can control our motor functions and senses, there's no— could affect us psychologically. —latent conditioning could resurface.
no subject
I won't be the So[static]kill me if you[static]sorry.
no subject
She doesn't want to think about it.]
Bucky...
[Natasha doesn't cut in and out this time, at least, so he gets to hear the shaky little breath she takes.]
I won't let you hurt anyone.
no subject
But if he ends up the Soldier again. If it's the choice between taking him out and letting him kill more people, he knows what the right choice is.]
Thank you.
[It's softer, warmer, than his voice has been before here.]
And I'm sor[static]efore. I was wrong, I know you and Tony only wanted to help and I[static].
no subject
[She cuts out, and there's a pause this time, only a second or so. When the audio cuts back in, her voice is quieter, gentler.]
How are you doing?
no subject
How is he doing?
When they're all probably in the midst of being programmed, mind controlled, and altered. When Steve died such a short time ago right in front of his eyes. When he can't even most his left arm any longer and the pain from the skin sloughing off is constant. He actually snorts, pushed too far beyond fear for any genuine response, and replies in a dry tone.]
Never better, this place is like an endless vacation. You?
no subject
Perfect. Every day is a gift. I'm especially enjoying the complete lack of information I'm dealing with.
no subject
[He hesitates on carrying this on, on prolonging a conversation with someone who might not even be real.]
Natas[static]rophet too?
no subject
What? I only caught "prophet".
no subject
Do you hear shadows telling you to kill the Prophet too?
[Tell him that he's not the only one.]
no subject
[So it's not his programming, at least.]
I don't know much about the Prophet. From what I've gathered, her name was Sam, and [More static. Great!] She must have seen something she wasn't supposed to.
no subject
[Or, at least, a weird thing calling itself the Prophet.]
no subject
no subject
She said to find the centre of the spiral, nothing that[static]before.
no subject
I don't know. [static] affect the nanomachines. We don't have enough information.
no subject
We need to find their base of operations.
no subject
no subject
[Perhaps blasting through from the tunnels that are already underground?]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)